I was that person

Ooh, I like this highchair! It appears to have an easy escape route!
Would you like to come to my place for some goldfish and milk?
More presents for me? I'm stunned!
Wait, I have to write thank you notes for these? Never mind, take them back!
Tweety.

When we left LG yesterday, it was raining like God had decided to flood the world again. I think it could have been categorized as a deluge. Maggie and I opted to sleep in the car because rain makes us sleepy. When we got to the airport, Dad and I got out of the car and Mom went to park. We had to take the carseat out, plus my luggage and Maggie. Rather difficult and that stinking carseat weighed about a ton. Maggie was game to ride in her China stroller though. She didn't appear to be having any flashbacks or anything. We got everything checked in and went to wait in the atrium for Mom. I walked Maggie around because I thought maybe I could wear her out before we got on the plane. Oh, optimism. How silly you are. Finally, we decided that we'd better head for security blah blah.

I'm on the phone. Could you just wait a minute?

Well, hold on. Let me think about this.

Perhaps a chiropractor could solve my problem.


We got expedited to the front of the line because I had a kid! Woo! Then Maggie started crying because I was banging her around while I tried to take my shoes off, get 2 crates for my carryons and fold up her stroller. Then I sent my boarding pass through the X ray machine. Then they wanted Maggie to take her shoes off. I was like, "The only thing in her shoes is feet. I promise." They allowed me through, thank GOODNESS. Then we made friends on the elevator with a bunch of people and I had to STEAMROLL over a bunch of people on the train who would not get out of my way. I actually said, "EXCUSE ME. Stroller coming through. Excuse me." Then we got to the gate and I could smell Popeye's Chicken which made my stomach growl and the plane was not even at the gate. But our pilot was. He was just hanging out. We walked around for a while so I could distract Maggie from the fact that she was sitting in her stroller. Finally, the plane got there and we got on.

I'm going to tell you a funny story, okay?

Are you listening? Listen up, you!

You don't think I'm funny?

Well, PTBBBBBBBBBB on you!

Pre-flight optimism. Oh well.



It wasn't a full flight and Maggie and I had a whole row to ourselves. Maggie squirmed a lot and I gave her part of a sandwich which she kept feeding to me. Then they did the safety thing and turned the lights out. Then they turned the lights back on and more people got on. They did the safety thing again and turned the lights out. Then they turned the lights back on and more people got on. Stupid AirTran! I do not care if your tickets are only $50! Maggie and I ate a BUNCH of animal crackers during this process. Then she started screaming. And screaming and crying and screaming some more. She wanted to go out in the aisle and I wouldn't let her and she was mad. At one point, she tried to take off with an air sickness bag and my purse over her shoulder. Uh, no. Maggie also got mad at me because I had to hold her during take off. She screamed. I know she was banging the seat in front of us too, so to that lady: I am sorry. FINALLY, she went to sleep. But then she couldn't get comfortable or the air was too dry or who knows what the problem was because she started crying again. It was very trying. We were sitting on the wing and I wanted to set her out there for the remainder of the flight. Then we landed and I wanted to kiss the tarmac. I wanted to be home more than I did when we got home from China. Thank goodness she did not scream like that on the China flight because I maybe would have jumped off the wing. David was glad to see us but he did not have a sign or balloons.

So, that is the saga of our trip home. Today we visited Maggie's daycare and I think she is going to be fine. She and the other kids stared at each other and she met her teacher and the director. She let both of them hold her and she pointed at a lot of stuff. Then we met Rege and Barb for some shopping and I saw these drinks at World Market that were flavored like turkey, pea and antacid. HOW SICK. I took a picture of them with my cell phone. We also about got blown to kingdom come because it was freakishly windy. Then I was able to transfer a sleeping Maggie from the carseat to the bed! Woo hoo! I was very proud of myself.

I'm going to work tomorrow afternoon to reacclimate myself with my classroom. Last week, I was dismayed to see that my nicely organized bookcases appear to be in a shambles. Argh! No more ABC order for me. Perhaps we shall make our final midday visit to Target. Sob!