The countdown is on. The emotions are high.
I'm beginning to feel a bit, emotional, shall we say, as I see a rather enormous change lurking on the horizon of my life. When I got my first teaching job 9 years ago, I laid on my parents bed and cried. When I asked my dad if I had to go, he said, "Yeah, you gotta." I knew I had to but I was so sad at the thought of not having my mom and dad right there when I needed help or advice. Plus, they were my family.When David and I moved to our house 4 years ago (I think it was that long ago), we went to Sonny's BBQ for dinner that first night and I sat in a booth and cried. My family lives 6 hours away and David's family lives here so they can step in when I need parental advice or a "grown up" opinion. We were moving 30 minutes away from them and I felt like I was moving away from my family all over again. Today I told David that I could feel myself getting sad again about the changes coming. His response: "Great." My response: holding back tears. I've already warned David that I'm probably going to cry at the airport on Thursday morning. I am terrible at change. I hate it. I used to think that I was super flexible and could handle anything. Now I realize that I search out my comfort zone and tend to stay there.
I think what scares me the most is that we are going to be in China when we become parents. There will be no moms and dads there to help us or give us advice. It will be David and me, trying to figure out this 11 month old baby who's probably never seen white people or ever been out of her SWI. I'm not going to be able to call my mom and ask her if Maggie is acting like a normal baby. Most people get to add to their families with a lot of family surrounding them. We're going to be alone which makes me very nervous sometimes.
It will be alright though. David and I are each other's family too. We will muddle through. We'll have a good time. We'll fall in love with our daughter. We'll take tons of pictures and make a zillion memories. We'll laugh a lot and probably cry some too. We will find a new comfort zone and settle in.
4 comments:
I know how overwhelming this stage is - after all this waiting and yearning, finally your dream is within reach - and its SCARY! But, things will settle down faster than you think and soon you won't be able to remember life without your princess. This change will be AWESOME. Enjoy every second of worry, joy, tears and amazement.
Allison-- call me anytime you want to cry about changes (even the wonderful ones!)-- I'll be mopping up too!! Honestly, men do not know how to deal with it. I am so, so, so happy and excited for you and David as you go throught the amazing change of parenthood.
Love, Kimberly
You will find a new comfort zone....I think that's it in a nutshell really. And it will be the most exciting, challenging, fulfiling comfort zone ever!
She won't be acting like a "normal" baby.....I mean, she'll be trying to come to terms with missing absolutely everything she's known. Thats big stuff. However, you will have a bunch of other new Moms and Dads who have children experiencing the exact same trauma. Those other new parents will be worth their weight in gold to you.
Here's to a wonderful, and settled new comfort zone, for you and Maggie!
anna
Your songs have been added to the ultimate 90's list, as are some I forgot.
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